Gabriella Papadakis’s Memoir Alleges a Disturbing Pattern of Abusive Behavior from Cizeron

By Madison (@KnifeShoeSport on Twitter) with additional research and translation work from Zélie (@zelie_germain), Marie (@East_From_Eden), Elle (@2axelbot), and Shabah (@Fanthomette)

Content warning: discussion of sexual assault and emotional abuse

Olympic gold medalist Gabriella Papadakis’s recently released memoir Pour ne pas disparaître (link to purchase here) paints a vivid picture of her life as an elite ice dancer. It explores many of the issues plaguing the sport, including sexism, homophobia, abuse, and power imbalances. Throughout her book, she details the sexism that permeates the very fabric of the sport and the widespread mistreatment many women in ice dance face. However, this is not what has received the most attention in the media and online discussions of her book. Much of the buzz surrounding her book has been focused on her allegations of mistreatment by her former ice dance partner Guillaume Cizeron, who has since teamed up with Laurence Fournier Beaudry. Cizeron’s mistreatment is only a very small part of the story Papadakis recounts in her book. The majority of the book focuses on the way women are mistreated within ice dance, far beyond the actions of her former partner. However, for the purpose of this website, this article will be focused on Cizeron. The following article is only a small snapshot of what Papadakis has endured, and I recommend that you read her book to fully understand her story, especially if you are a fan of ice dance.

Papadakis’s memoir alleges a disturbing pattern of abusive behavior from Cizeron. In one scene, she recalls their coach, Patrice Lauzon, telling her that Cizeron’s behavior is “abusive” and reminds him of a younger skater he coaches who is “mistreating” his partner (pg. 209). Later in the book, Papadakis recounts a conversation with a friend who stayed with her when she went to train in Lyon with Cizeron. Her friend reveals, “Oh, I know, he was horrible to you. That's why your mother asked me to come live with you for two weeks when you went to Lyon. She was afraid to leave you all alone with him” (pg. 254).

Papadakis describes Cizeron as being "controlling, demanding, and critical” of her in private, and writes that she became so uncomfortable in his presence that she refrained from skating with him unless a coach was supervising (pg. 144). She also details how his behavior escalated as the 2022 Olympics approached:

“A few weeks before leaving for China, where the 2022 Games are being held, Guillaume is becoming increasingly demanding in training. He raises his voice quickly, gets annoyed at the slightest mistake, is impatient, and curt. He watches me every morning to check that I warm up properly, and I have to hide to get him to leave me alone” (pg. 209).

These behaviors continued once the pair retired from competitive skating to focus on shows. Papadakis describes skating with him during a series of shows in Japan, during which he snapped his fingers to call her over, forced himself past her when she was not skating the way he wanted her to, and raised his voice at her. She said these behaviors caused her to physically tremble and wrote, “his anger is palpable, a kind of constant tension, like a dark cloud around him, and I dread the explosion” (pg. 232).

Another common theme throughout Papadakis’s memoir is how women in ice dance are judged for their appearances, and how judges’ scores often reflect how well the female partner can adhere to strict gender roles in her looks. There is an unspoken rule that female ice dancers must wake up several hours before practice sessions at competitions, often at 4 am or earlier, to don a full face of makeup and perfectly styled hair to appease the judges. Pour ne pas disparaître details how both Papadakis’s coaches and Cizeron were complicit in this attitude, and how they would often judge her for her looks and frequently criticize her appearance.

Papadakis recounts a moment when their coaches criticized her appearance, and Cizeron stood beside and smiled, saying nothing (pg. 175). Another time, Papadakis describes overhearing Cizeron and a friend ask some of the other girls to lend clothes, dresses, and heels to another female ice dancer so that she could “look more feminine.” When Papadakis confronted Cizeron about this, he rolled his eyes and said they only wanted to help her feel beautiful (pg. 187). Papadakis also writes that he frequently criticized the weight of other skaters, and once made a joke about her weight after a lift during training (pg. 200).

After one of their post-retirement shows, Papadakis describes meeting up with Cizeron at a cafe to discuss some of the current issues with their partnership. During the conversation, she asked him to stop commenting on her appearance. In the book, she summarizes his response as:

“He retorted that he was fed up with ‘all the girls’ saying that men are abusive, and that if I were a guy, I'd understand that sometimes you have to be that way to guide us. That if I can't handle comments and jokes about my looks, then I've chosen the wrong sport: my appearance belongs to the relationship, and that's that. That if the coaches and he hadn't forced me to take makeup lessons, I still would look like a mess. And that he doesn't want to hear about my traumas anymore. He's tired of trying to sympathize.” (pg. 233)

A frequent theme in Papadakis’s book is her opinions being ignored by both her coaching staff and Cizeron. Papadakis recalls how, after their internship at the Paris Opera, she began to realize how her coaches, choreographers, and Cizeron treated her differently. She writes, “I could talk, dance, even scream—nothing. They act as if I don’t exist. They address me only to give me orders.” Later that day, she shares an idea and is ignored. Twenty minutes later, Cizeron is praised for sharing the same idea. Soon after, she has a meeting with her coaches and Cizeron, during which Cizeron ignores one of her suggestions, snickers, and continues the discussion as if she hadn’t spoken. The next day, Cizeron tells their couples therapist that he is exhausted because Papadakis does not take initiative. When Papadakis gives examples of her taking initiative and being ignored, Cizeron tells her:

“Yeah, okay, yes—we ignore you, but it’s because your ideas are bad, and we would tell you, but you have huge ego issues. You don’t know how to take criticism, so we’re forced to ignore you.” (pg. 241)

Papadakis also describes Cizeron’s pattern of gaslighting behavior toward her. In 2022, a documentary was released in which Papadakis said she was forced to wear makeup and that Cizeron told her that they were moving to Lyon to train without giving her a choice. After the documentary aired, Cizeron was “furious” with Papadakis and told her that he never said those things. Cizeron told her that she had always had a bad memory, and she began to doubt her own memory. Because Cizeron had convinced her that she had lied and damaged the reputation of himself and their coaches, Papadakis spent 13,000 CAD on legal fees attempting to get the documentary removed from the internet. At one point, she even began to doubt her psychological stability and was convinced she was schizophrenic (pg. 221).

Cizeron also showed a disturbing pattern of dismissing victims of sexual assault. When Papadakis requested not to train at the same time as Nikolaj Sorensen after he was accused of violent rape, Cizeron was “furious” and “angry” with her (pg. 226). Papadakis also describes an incident in which she confided in Cizeron that she found it worrying that 12 and 13-year-old girls were sharing the same locker room as them during a skating show. When she said she was considering telling the organization about it (out of concern for the safety of the girls), Cizeron said, “Yes, it's super stressful for me, they could make false accusations and I could be in deep trouble" (pg. 224).

Papadakis also describes an incident where she told Cizeron that she was thinking of filing a formal complaint against one of the men who sexually abused her during her adolescence. Cizeron told her that if she made the report, he would no longer skate with her (pg. 225). Papadakis states that at the time, she believed Cizeron was doing this to protect her mental health, but now she sees this as a difference in their values.

Papadakis’s depression and anxiety are frequent subjects throughout her book. At one point, she describes having panic attacks due to Cizeron’s behavior towards her (pg. 209). During a break in training due to her suffering from depression and a concussion, she describes how she finally began to feel better, and only experienced “depression and anxiety attacks” when she was “think[ing] about training, when I was talk[ing] to Guillaume” (pg. 200). Cizeron’s behavior was one of the contributing factors in Papadakis developing stress-induced seizures. Papadakis describes one of these seizures occurring at her home as she was about to leave for practice. When she texted Cizeron that she did not feel safe to drive, he replied, "OK, we'll wait for you," implying she should still come to practice anyway (pg. 209).

In another instance of Cizeron disregarding her health, Papadakis describes how her coaches and Cizeron would frequently text her asking when she was planning on coming back after a concussion. Papadakis characterizes these texts as “cold” and writes that her coaches told her Guillaume is bored by training alone. Papadakis also says, “Sometimes the messages imply that I don't want to skate, that I'm lazy” (pg. 124). She also recounts a time when she ran into Cizeron while she was looking at her phone, and Cizeron yelled at her for being on her phone, as it would cause her concussion to heal more slowly. He told her that she was not taking responsibility for her recovery (pg. 124).

Cizeron continued to show an alarming pattern of endangering Papadakis by ignoring her health concerns. She reveals she once had a panic attack while skating at full speed with him during training and asked him to stop because she was afraid of falling. He told her that there was “nothing to worry about” and continued skating before eventually stopping (pg. 195). She also describes an incident that occurred while warming up for an ice show, in which Cizeron’s phone flew out of his jacket pocket and hit her in the face. She describes crying out in shock and Cizeron being “annoyed,” grabbing her arm, and telling her it was nothing. The pain was so severe that she lost consciousness. When she woke up, she saw that he had placed her on a bench and walked away. The show organizer called a doctor because she was bleeding. She received several stitches. Despite this, she skated in the show that night with Cizeron. Before their entrance, she told Cizeron that she thought she had a concussion, but he dismissed her concerns, retorting sharply that “[She] shouldn't have gone to the spa that morning, because it makes [her] feel weak before skating” (pg. 227). In another incident, very shortly after Papadakis attempted to have a conversation with Cizeron about his behavior, she describes how Cizeron’s inaction during a show rehearsal led to her nearly being injured multiple times.

“I begin the routine, lying on a table, and I’m supposed to roll into his arms. I roll, but he isn’t there to catch me, and I almost fall… At one specific moment in the program, I arch backward, balancing on one foot with one leg stretched forward, off balance so he can lift me and take me into the next movement. Once again, he ignores me, and I barely manage to avoid falling” (pg. 231).

Because this incident occurred so soon after Gabriella attempted to have a conversation with Cizeron about his behavior, it could be interpreted as retaliation against her.

Taken together, the behaviors described in Pour ne pas disparaître reflect a sustained pattern of coercive control, gaslighting, and gendered domination within a professional partnership, reinforced by institutional silence. Papadakis’s account shows how emotional abuse, retaliation after boundary setting, and repeated disregard for physical safety can operate without overt violence, gradually eroding autonomy, health, and ultimately the possibility of continued participation in the sport.

Pour ne pas disparaître translates to “So as to not Disappear.” Papadakis discusses how, after she split with Cizeron, her legacy was slowly erased. The coaches at Ice Academy of Montreal stopped talking about her. All evidence of her was deleted from Cizeron’s social media, and the skating world began to focus on Cizeron’s new partnership. Even before the dissolution of their partnership, Cizeron and their coaches often acted as if she weren’t there. They ignored her opinions, reduced her agency, and mistreated her. By writing this book, Papadakis is doing all she can to share her story, educate others on the dark underbelly of ice dance, and ensure her legacy does not disappear. One of the most important scenes in the memoir is when Papadakis meets with her therapist near the end of their partnership. Papadakis writes that, “According to [my therapist], Guillaume created a world in which I could only exist in one way: inferior to him, under his control, always in admiration. From the moment I began to want to free myself from that role, there was no longer any place for me in his world. The only possible outcome was that he would get rid of me” (pg. 246). By writing Pour ne pas disparaître, Papadakis is cementing that she has a world she can exist in outside of his own.

Shortly before the release of the book, Cizeron sent Papadakis a cease and desist order and released a press statement denying her allegations:

“I wish to clarify my position regarding the recent accusations made against me, which have caused a great deal of concern just days before the European Championships. Faced with the smear campaign targeting me, I wish to express my incomprehension and disagreement with the labels being applied to me.

I also wish to denounce the content of the book "Pour ne pas disparaître" (To Not Disappear ), which contains false information, attributing to me, among other things, statements that I never made and which I consider serious.” (source: Radio Canada)

When an interviewer asked Papadakis about Cizeron denying her allegations, Papadakis said:

“His public statements reflect the relationship we had and what happened all those years. All the arguments he’s using publicly now are the same ones he used in our relationship to minimize my words, to discredit me, and that were part of his control. Did I expect it to become so big? Maybe not. When people speak out about these things – especially women – there are always consequences, unfortunately.” (source: Le Figaro).

As a result of the cease and desist order, Papadakis lost her job as an ice dance commentator for NBC (source: ESPN). When asked about this in an interview, Papadakis said, “NBC made this decision because they were afraid of attacks from my former partner. But the problem is primarily societal. How is it that people who denounce violence, who speak out, are penalized, rather than those who perpetrate it? This isn't something I blame on NBC. I think it's a much larger problem” (source: Le Figaro).

For more information, please read our other articles:

The Case Against Fournier Beaudry/Cizeron (Primer)

Complete Timeline of the Nikolaj Sørensen Case

How Fournier Beaudry and Cizeron Support and Defend Sørensen

You can sign the petition for an English-language release of Papadakis’s memoir here.